The Garden: ANGELS & DEMONS

Chapter 1

Thanks for reading my book! This is a kind of a passion project it is unedited and I really hope you all enjoy the read. I will be filling in the chapters monthly and up loading the cover of the book soon. This is a sample and you can purchase at the link at the end of the last chapter. It will be available soon so keep an eye out.

Chapter 1 Dreams

Do you ever have vivid dreams?  

My mama told me we would have..dreams. That we would have feelings. Strong feelings as we grow up. One day we would fall in love and become stupid with love. I am conscious in my dreams, very conscious. More then normal, I think. I always remember the details, even if I don't want to. 

Even from my bed; I am aware.
I got into bed nervous and excited. I would meet my cousins in the morning and I just was not prepared. Ever since I can remember it was just mom and I. Even though she raised me to fit the mold of a Princess. I felt sheltered. Dads gone ninety percent of the time for work so Its just the two of us really.

I mean I'm not stupid. I know the only thing on a mans mind is..well one thing.

What I mean is that I didn't have many experiences in life. Not even some usual's like having a family reunion or going to a wedding. Certain things were just lost on me. 

I mean our home was each other. We had our spa but small interactions between me and the customers about skincare, smoothies and candy pops the size of your face didn't teach me much about the world. I don't know sometimes I just want more. I want to see the world. Travel. Meet people I've never known.

I can't  help myself I am excited.

Plenty has happened to us since we have been in the world and I know what she expects of me. I know what I expect of me. I want to make her proud.

Yeah, I know it.

But, finally we would have a family. We would have support. Mom would be less stressed. Less lonely. Dad has been gone some time. This last stretch was long almost 6 years now. Sometimes I think I dreamed him up and IF I just keep this saunter about, through this slumber. I could catch him one day hiding in the shadow of the dream; somewhere.

Lately I've been having these nightmares? I don't wanna call them that but that's all I can make sense of. 

Sometimes I feel like the weight of sleep is something that drags me below consciousness. Like I could dance my way through us all. Through all our dreams. The thought was scary for some reason.

But, I do it all the time. But this night was different. I have always been an excellent dream walker, astral projector, spirit walker whatever culture they all have names for my gift. 

I don't take any dream seriously. Dreams aren't real.

But, lately things have been different. I have been having vivid dreams. Not hazy and unclear just vibrant experiences that felt real. It's not too unusual but it's got me thinking .. about fate, our fate as women.. marriage and men.. mama says its dangerous.

I'd rather avoid men. They are arrogant, presumptuous, and entitled. In my heart I know my husband is the only one who is truly for me.

There is only one problem. We'll never be together. He exists I can feel him in my dreams.

It's hard to be a daughter on this block. It is not easy being a descendant and to be marked for great responsibility. On top of it few Women are born or exist in the garden. We are given everything supposedly and we are expected to give everything, especially as mothers. It was a great duty and responsibility to be a mother to birth more angels, those with the holy gift of magic. Although I had my skepticism. I couldn't wait. My dry eyes pinched together as the cool air fell in through my moonlit room. It matches the blackness of the sky.
The door to my bathroom was open as well..

I felt the edges of my vision disappear and felt that pull yet again as my lids shut.

"I would honor you and always be on your side." His voice drifted through my mind like a satin ribbon. His voice was comforting and I felt safe. I couldn't see anything but I could feel the wet liquid around myself. It was wet and dripping all over. I felt a small hint of fear as I lie in bed somewhere between asleep and awake, drowsy. The two sensations teetered on my attention. Almost like an energy I could reach out to touch.

"Come back to me.. " this dream was vivid. I experienced it in layers. They didn't blend together they just laid atop another to create a picture. 

This feeling was so.. beautiful. I saw my husband lying in a grey bed fast asleep his pink lips parted drooling a little. He called my name telling me to put the phone down and get to bed, I saw his bright smile. I missed seeing his smile. He smelled of cool water, sea salt, and balsam. 

"Hold my hand." I could practically touch him as I slid into bed.

It all felt so real, so natural. I felt a space between us. Like time and space had separated us. That was the problem. That was always the problem. We were separated.

"Don't leave me." but his voice sounded strange almost like it was different for a second.

"Come." I tried to move closer toward his whispering voice instinctively trying to remember his voice. I could feel eyes on my skin watching me. A wind rushing along my flesh, my thighs swole.

"I promise myself. I'll give you anything you could ever want if you never turn me away. I will give you anything you seek."

The cool side of the pillow chilling my cheeks and my locs tickled my forehead and neck. Feeling  a sigh escape my lips as I turn over in bed and fell deeper into this sleep.

His long hair brushed against my face as he pulls a hand against my stomach, cradling my ripe pregnant belly. "What should we name our son?" I thought about it and just couldn't think of a name.

I was just too proud, too happy. Our son! I could see his curly hair half platinum and half black, strait down the middle. I leaned in and his smell filled my mind. I'll never forget his scent. 

I felt a burning in my stomach that woke me. One of my eyes popped open a second and I turn again to sleep. But I knew once a connection is broken its never quite as strong again.

As soon as I got close my dream began to disintegrate. His cute perfect nose, those eyes.
He was gone as if he never existed. Had I really seen his face? I couldn't recall anything but the back of his head. The only memory left was the pain and loss I felt in their absence. I just want to be with my baby and my husband. At the very least I just wanted to remember the memory or dream of what was left of them.

"No." I turn and toss again. My breathing was labored even in my nightmares I was semi-conscious. I felt movement in the room rousing me from my slumber. "My love."

My love. He reached out to me with his bloody hands. I could smell a clean, earthy, scent coming off his skin. You saved me. 

I saw brown-green eyes looking up at me.

The thick jelly rubbed against my cheek where he touched me gingerly. My stomach lived in my belly button pulling extra beats from my chest. My bed was gone, my baby was gone, everything was gone, except the black lake I sat in alone. The tarry water clung to my body. The dream seemed to scatter between scenes and thoughts, feelings. Most of which I could not decipher.

I love you most. His hands were on either side of my face as he tried to suck the heat from my lips. The heat coming off of his pulsing body breathed a hot light into me. His raw lips finally met mine in a hush but his body was engulfed in fire. "NO!" I thought. My face launched forward and broke the dreams connection to me. My hand felt the hot touch of the wash cloth against my lids as I sat strait up in bed before lying back down.

"What do you mean? Alexia? Are you awake? If I have to tell you to get up again I'm going to keep washing your face, girl." My mother sat a snack at the table near my bed. I could feel the soft touch of a hot towel against may face that threatened to wake me.

"five minutes I--"

The light from my window tried to break the reminiscence of the illusion. How was that possible I had just lied down for bed!

My mother spoke to me but I couldn't really hear her. "I'm trying." I flopped over trying to get my body to awake but the sleep had me in a vice. Damn this weird body of mine.
"Sorry I I can't move well, yet. It's like I'm not awake but I am. Sometimes. I don't know, ma."

"A loud dream? Tell me." A smile crept its way upon my face and I tied to hide from her, embarrassed. The way I did sometimes from what frightened me. 

"Oh okay, that won't work on me but we don't have to talk about it now. Come, we are running behind. Your cousins are almost here and we have so much to do. Your bath is ready."

"This is important Alex. Do not embarrass me. Do not say anything to your little cousins about the things we have been discussing lately either. Don't forget." Her tone turned dark and firm.

"They are younger than you. Protect them. They don't understand the nature of whats just happened."

Moms was right probably best not to talk about War around the babies. 

"Then we will stop by the academy to pick up your schedule, books, and gowns. We are going to have some serous discussions. I know you are excited but you need to take this seriously. Some conversations will be embarrassing and maybe painful. But War is returning.

"All of us?

"All of us..."

"Dad?"

"I know you heard me. Do not make me repeat myself. Your father is to return home and we have the honor to take over as Administrators of Reunification. Your father and I have many changes to make to the college curriculum. You still have some time til you can join the corp in the depths and follow our family traditions." She seemed to be rushing. Maybe we were late?

"Great. I'm filled with joy."

"We have discussed this before on your 16th birthday remember? " a breath escaped my chest.

"Yes." I would or may be getting married in 2 years. I could possibly be asked to bless someone. It was my destiny or whatever as an Angel to create miracles to save the human realms and to save us. War is always.

No one would hear us when we told them they were aligning themselves with evil. Some knew some didn't care some just wanted to win but at the end; they were deceived and consumed. A whole city...there aren't a dozen that still exist in the realm now! Almost over night! Its kinda scary when you think about it.

I grabbed an orange skirt and matching top out of my tiny closet, throwing some shoes on fast so I could be ready before my mother could admonish me for taking such a long time; didn' t wanna make us late.

My father could be there now. Saving someone. Clearing the city of any demonic presence to think that I will once day have to do the same. . .I was terrified but I wanted to. Both my parents were known demon slayers known to both Angel and Vampire and fable and myth alike. I could never fill their shoes. I just didn't know how.

They had strength. Grit. I felt like a wet spaghetti noodle to their well forged and trained metal.

I hope my gowns are red and gold. We never got to have anything and this was gonna be our moment. Just wait I was gonna save my community. I was going to fix my family and save the realms. I couldn't wait to be matched with my beau, to have my partner in crime. We would fix what was wrong with the realm.

I could hear mom down stairs answering the door.

I threw my locs over my shoulder. Throwing the brush through my hair. Brushing my teeth.

I was ready. Time for everything. I hear my mother call me from downstairs.

I have this. All I have to get through was the ceremony. If I made an impression maybe the cosmos would bless me with luck.

"It seems my sister is here early as always. Come. They are here now so let's talk about everything later." We were at the door then ready to invite our guests in.

I was ready. 

Suddenly I saw someone float through the door. Their voice just ahead of them.

Her big bubble eyes and smoochable lips caught my attention immediately. "I am ready to bathe my baby. Where is my niece?"

"Where is our niece?"She says again her voice sounding distinctly different.

"Here." My lips moved without me thinking. I knew this was ceremonial but I was excited?

"We have come to celebrate your promotion and to welcome you to womanhood."

I've already got a cycle I thought confused by her choice in words.

"Obviously." she glanced behind herself for a moment. Here are your cousins Kimber and Vitoria, Diamond is training unfortunately can not be present. But you will see her as soon as she finishes. Come say, 'Hi' to your cousins."

A little girl about 5 feet tall emerged from behind the god floating in front of me. She bounced on her heels in her yellow dress. A girl younger than myself says 'Hey' as she came in rushing past  and sat on the couch not looking away from her mirror. Her hair is arranged in an array of ornate braids her navy dress puffed up as she sat on the couch playing a game on her handheld.

I had never seen one this side of town before before. My family was loaded. We lived comfortably.

"Hi cousin." Her little voice was so adorable. She reached out, "We brought you a gift." She handed me a gold ring. It had a bright red ruby shaped like a heart in the center. I slipped the jewelry onto my finger.  Perfect fit.

"Thanks Pooh!" I hugged her tight and asked her how old she was.

"I'm eleven." I love her afro puffs. This was wild I had 3 cousins neat. We stayed in the living room chatting. We were all girls in the family it seemed.

Alexia..I pushed the damn day dream away.

"Thank you!" 

Please. Alexia. I had to be crazy. This was the worst possible thing that could have happened at this moment. I tried to ignore the thought but ultimately retreated to the restroom.

The mirror over the sink was ornate. I touch the mirror lingering on a thought. In the corner of my eye something seemed off as I glanced deeper. My body seemed odd? I looked down. That's ..my body. But as I glanced in the mirror again my face may have been mine but the chest lacked tissue and was broad. This was a man.

There was a jarring knock at the door. "Hurry I gotta potty.." My hands crossed to cover my waist but as I looked down I saw a mans groin. A yelp tore from my lips as I clutch my eyes tight afraid to look, to see... a penis! I could die. I haven't! I don't!

"Girl stop playing in my bathroom and come out here!" I opened my eyes and just that quick my refection was back to normal.

Weird. Puberty is weird. but maybe that's just me. Could just be stress.

***

"I'm your Aunt Arielle goddess of Love and I come bearing gifts for my only niece." Her voice proudly boomed over everyone, my bedroom seemed to shrink around her beaming joy. Her face did that thing moms did like it was changing ever so slightly.

She left a small peck on my cheek before I am dismissed to bathe. They sat just outside the bathroom then,  everyone chatting about what my gifts will be.

I relax into the water. The prefect Epsom jasmine honey blend. My muscles ease and a feel a soft haziness take me.

"Alex."
His sweet sultry voice called to me yet again and I could not resist. A bead of sweat forms upon my brow as my breath comes quicker caused by the velvet sensation of his touch along my spine.

That was different! He'd never touched me like that before.  It didn't feel real like that before. I kept looking behind myself.

This had to be real. I felt that as if he were in the bath with me stroking my back. Drawing circles in my back.

He was real. He had to be tangible. If not here then somewhere.

The bubbles from my bath float around the air as I fought the panic inside to "hurry! Please!"

The cry escaped my lips and my eyes stung threatening to reveal my fears.

"Hurry you, princess. Listen to her.. all spoiled as she enjoys our bath, oils, and elixirs." They had come in the bathroom. I had not noticed my head was hung down my locs covered my face.

"Come on. It is up to us to raise her. Tell her stories and enrich her with your wisdom. Tell her who she is. Love, you first, sista." I watched in bewilderment. Her lips were moving but the voice didnt quite match all the time.

Her bright blonde hair was the first thing I noticed but her overwhelmingly sweet skin fragrances the air no matter where she went. It was almost too much but it just fit her.

 I could smell her from behind the beautiful mesh swags that hid my nude celestial body from the powerful elementals in the bathroom before me.

Her lips were shiny from the nude chocolate lipstick she wore. She had big thick lips that reminded me of a big bright apple. I tried not to stare and let my body fall into the grace of the healing bath water.

"You are the physical manifestation of earth in heaven but even more than that, you are so more than that. Your gifts will emerge naturally but be as you may; beauty will be your curse. You are your mothers child, you will bear her sins as well as your own." Her cadence changes and she whispers, "I know your powers will bloom soon. You must stay strong. You are strong enough. God would never ask more of us than we can handle." My face must have been trending toward darkness.

"Don't scare her." My mother shouted, teasing from the other room. I swear that woman sees and hears everything.

"You guys speak and I feel like I barely understand what I hear... though it all feels true. I think I am ready for bed. Too much for one night." My head was hurting. I wasn't sure when it started but it was definitely a tension headache.

"Let us help you. Stand." This from a more sturdy voice behind me. she held out a peach and gold towel out to me before I could feel shame or embarrassment I stood and the fluffy material clung to me and held me tightly as she wrapped me up. Never looking at my body. If she did ever see me I never noticed.

She made me feel safe.

"That's some towel. Smells like vanilla." Before I could say more the rest of them scattered about leaving the bathroom, collecting themselves in my room, all near and around my bed.

It seemed to glow but it shined a golden light that made me all but want to weep upon it.

She told me she was a goddess and I believed her as she glowed, shined. I was in awe of her. She left the room quiet when she spoke. Only speaking above a whisper. She was chanting or humming or something. She was so genuine. So perfect. Her black, gold, and purple robe drug across the floor as she moved from one side of the room to the other. She laid a black and red robe upon the bed.

"This is for you, Lovely."

My form was frigged for a second but I took the robe and slipped it on. This couldn't be real. I thought,  I was glowing too!

"Wow!" My mother and my aunt took my hands and guided me gingerly to my bed. It was a slow process for some reason. I just couldn't move quickly. My body was denser for some reason.  I leaned against my aunt for support.

For just a second the goddess of love smelled like my grandmother. What I remember of her. Mama Dear.

My mind caught the edge of a nightmare. In a flash across my mind and I could smell gas and feel my body string about as metal melted and smashed about me.

I felt my self lay back with a huff but my mom gently laid me back and helped my feet over. One of them massaged my temples the other my feet.

"That was a long time ago. Your human life is over now. I am very sorry that the world was so cruel to you but you are with god now and I will not let you falter." This from my aunt he face was shifting all over.

"You are my child. It was my love that bore you. Soon you will join the academy with your other cousins and our family. You will bring beauty and love to the realms I know it but you must let this pain from your human life go. You'll never be human again." My mothers soft voice filled my ears.

"Never? Why? Why never?" I felt a small bit of panic but didn't open my eyes. I was safe and relaxed.

"We have dedicated our souls to this place. Guiding all others. We are made for this, god has made us angels to fight for humanity. Not for ourselves."

Alexia!

The twinge of pain I hid well behind a smile. I was beginning to feel the constraints of a migraine. "Get into bed and we will tell you who you are to become and those who have become before you, child."

I slid my legs under the silky sheets instead of laying atop it.

 My clean body felt cool in the cozy bed with silky sheets tucked closely as my mother and aunt prayed over me Laying hands and blessing me. Protecting me.

"You are my child. Waurric and I made you. You have ascended to a higher plane of consciousness. Here in this garden we fight the ills and sins of humans life. So above is the God Alter. That is where all energy comes from.

"Its gods womb. If you ask the crass men around here its..something else."

"Also you cuss and you smoke if you are gods why do you seem—" my eyes open unable to stay closed.

"Like you? We are made in your image. Humans thought us into form.. Although it is also true some of us are born from different places.

"So I am not the first child?" I asked but really I wanted confirmation. I don't want to be doing this alone.

"Heavens no. There are over 50 children in the realm now and we are in an age of growth which means there will be many more god willing. Which means more angels, gods, demons, travelers, magicians.

"Demons?"

"You were born in the hour of the worlds greatest need—

"For what?

"Justice. Progress.  You and your cousins fight and die for the sins of humans. To even the spiritual energies of all realms. You will decide whether it will tilt toward balance or chaos. "

"Will life become more fair or less. All humans profess to want to make the world a better place but you actually can. And will. Or you will die trying."

"Die?" her tone was dark and phased between these faces I had not known.

"Yes well in a word... you won't really really die. Mostly you will be reborn. You can not be destroyed." Love stroked my brows gently. Easing my fears.

I nod but it felt foreign. Why hadn't we spoken of this before? I'm sorry my dear you were too little to understand. I can remember people whispering things changing and l had to learn how to act we all do.

"Well what could a place with silky sheets and perfect cups of tea have that would make me leave now?"

"We don't have to discuss everything tonight. I know it is all so much to take in. It will help you find your way and place here as a woman, as a goddess if you call us. Ask us questions.." I'll leave you here.

***

The wide window gave me the perfect view across the square. I saw a man sitting eating presumably. His body was pretty far away maybe 100 yards. The shape of him twisted in the dark of night. It only began to think to give way to the dawn. His hands wildly tore at his head as if in strife. There was a darkness leaking from his shadow. Even in the darkness of my bedroom I could feel the confusion and blood lust as if I could see his face clearly. But no matter how the moonlight hit his face the shadows protected him from sight. His body jerked in my direction suddenly and I couldn't tell which way he was facing.

"Whaat."I whispered clutching my blanket to my chest..  

A loud horn echoed in my room and across the street where he seemed to glance. His still body stopped as I was caught in his gaze? So still but then he was in motion a small far away shadow gaining in mass... in my direction.

The screaming of the curtains as I shut them left my ears a bit raw. I pulled away from the window and curtains I had shut ready to shrink down and hide.

Had he seen me? I was too far away, right? And what would make him act like that?

A ringing behind my left ear began. My body felt more raw as I tried to rub away the pain. This was something I could not scratch away. My body responded before I could stop myself. I dry heaved. 

A roar erupted from my throat.

What the fuck was that?

I pushed this feeling down knowing I would have to face it but I just cant be sick right now.

My mother was calling me. I knew it. I rushed to the living room having thrown on my orange and purple gown with out much care.

My cousin sat on her feet leaning against the tea table. Its sat just a foot from the floor and was decorated with fluffy, colorful pillows.

I have prayed all season, next thing you know I'm gonna be sent to the Winterlands til the drums sound.

"Oh hush Chile. you think so loudly"

I just wanna go back to sleep.

I feel you I can't wait to meet my class mates. I know I'll make some new interesting friends.

"And so you shall my Dear. Being a descendant is a heavy burden but you will know so much love.

"Love? You will know obsession. Mommy is famous and our nation is newly formed since the great separation.

We are the most powerful emerging nation some are angry about your mothers rise to power.

****

I  couldn't keep my eyes shut in our full house. I was excited but I couldn't keep my eyes shut. People were angry? Of course they were. They would hate it if we were to take charge.

I felt a small and deep pain in my chest.

 What was his name again? 

What was their names? I couldn't see my baby's face, just the back of his head. It's JUST a dream.

Its just a dream.

Please goddess. Let me dream of them again...I was ready to bargain but deep down I knew I would never see them again.

Not in this time or place. They were gone and the memory nothing more than a gift to be savored til what comes next. 

Maybe in the next life we can be together.

Maybe..